Adoption Myths

Myth: Making an adoption plan means you don’t love your baby.

Truth: Choosing adoption means that you love your baby enough to make sure he or she has the best future possible, even if you can’t provide it yourself.

Myth: No one can love your baby the way you can.

Truth: Adoptive parents bond with their baby just as biological parents do. Their love and attachment grow as the child grows and the family unit becomes stronger and stronger over the years. Love means making a commitment that the child’s needs are met – 24 hours a day, 7 days a week – and forming a relationship that lasts a lifetime.

Myth: You won’t have any say in the adoption process.

Truth: There was a time when birth parents weren’t involved in finding a home for their baby, but this doesn’t happen anymore. We make sure that, under the guidance of a professional social worker, you choose the adoptive family yourself, meet them, and figure out what kind of contact you want after the adoption process.

Myth: You won’t remember your baby.

Truth: It’s impossible to walk away from this whole experience without any memories of it. You’ll always be able to remember your baby and all of the wonderful feelings you experienced throughout your pregnancy. You’ll also remember just how hard the decision was, but you’ll be able to think about how responsible and loving you were to plan for your child’s future. And it’s this memory that you’ll be most proud of.

Myth: You’ll never know how your baby is doing.

Truth: In most adoption programs, you’ll be able to choose the kind of post-adoption contact you want. So, you can choose to receive photographs and letters from the adoptive parents for a period after the adoption, you can choose to have phone calls with them, or e-mail them to schedule visits.

Myth: You’ll never see your child again.

Truth: Some birthparents and adoptive parents agree on a visiting schedule for contact with the baby. In New York, birthparents can sign a document which allows their child to receive their contact information when they turn 18.

Myth: You baby won’t know he or she is adopted.

Truth: Adoptive parents are told that they should be honest about the child’s adoption. Birthparents can give their children photographs or letters to see and read when they’re old enough to understand.